From the Urban Dictionary:
A person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person. Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesn’t really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock someone else down a notch.
Susan: You know, Kevin from accounting is doing very well. He just bought a house in a very nice part of town.
Jane (hater): If he is doing so well why does he drive that ’89 Taurus?
What is wrong with people like the imaginary Jane? I have a few of them in my immediate vicinity. Even on the rare occasion that they must compliment something, it is tied to an insult.
What Jane says: Yeah, for a ‘student’ film that was ok.
What Jane meant for you to hear: Student films suck, but that was less sucky than most.
What horrible thing happened to poor ‘Jane’ in her past that makes it impossible for her to simply be kind?
I understand the temptation to knock down the things you don’t like. I don’t like the Twilight books. BUT I’m not going to tell someone else that they shouldn’t read those books, or think less of someone for enjoying them. The joy I get from a good read is like nothing in the world, I am happy for anyone who can also find that joy, no matter the source.
Who am I to deride the opinions of others?
When I start talking to someone else about how much I love Doctor Who, I don’t expect Jane to join in the conversation. It would be polite, however, if she would refrain from rolling her eyes. And I would really appreciate it if she wouldn’t stand up abruptly, stomp out of the room and slam the door behind her simply because the conversation has moved on to a topic she doesn’t like. I did not whine and pout like a bored child while she spoke about her navel hair collection.
I want to include this additional definition of hater from The Urban Dictionary:
Anyone with an opinion.
Guy 1: Bro, I don’t really like Drake.
Guy 2: What!?! Bro, you’re such a hater!
(It’s funny because it’s true. On a side note – the number of corrections I had to make in that entry is sad.)
Of course people should express negative opinions. What dull conversations we’d have if we didn’t disagree with each other once in a while. But we must express those opinions without being insulting. I actively disliked the beginning of the first Twilight book, so much so that I stopped reading it and I will not read the rest of the books in the series. If someone asks me for my opinion, I will say as much, and if they press for more I will discuss my reasons for my dislike. However, if someone is going on and on about how much they love those books, this is NOT an invitation for me to say “I hate them. Oh and by the way, you’re an idiot for loving them.”
They are expressing their opinion; they are not asking me for mine.
You can hate anything you want to hate. And when asked, you can express that hate.
But only when asked. Or when writing a blog post.
Otherwise, keep it to yourself.