(note – A friend wrote an insightful post on the tendency to judge our fellow humans. I started to write this as a comment there and then realized it would be terribly rude of me to use her post to talk about my own thoughts.  That is what my blog is for. )

http://pomama.wordpress.com/2014/07/20/why-cant-i-think-the-way-i-want-to/

PoMama wrote:

“Clothing choices: It is easy to judge others on this, my favorite pop culture example is from ‘Hackers’: “Spandex: it’s a privilege, not a right”. Who made that rule up? If she (the hypothetical person wearing spandex) is comfortable and proud then who are we to judge? […]

My thinking has not stopped me from saying ‘she should not be wearing that’ in the past, or thinking it recently. I want to work on that part of myself.”

Using the example of a spandex wearer: for myself, the judging I do is based on what I imagine I would think about myself if I looked like that person. I would not wear spandex if I were 20 pounds overweight. But then again, I wouldn’t wear it if I were underweight either. So the judgement is really a projection of my own thoughts about spandex, and hardly about the person wearing it at all.

It is important to remember that this judgement was made in the privacy of my own mind. Or to a trusted friend who has no connection to the wearer of spandex.  I did not share these thoughts with the person, nor would I post them on a blog, or on twitter, or any other public place.

My judgement is for my own entertainment and education, my own “What Not To Wear,” if you will.

If I met the wearer of spandex, I would probably never judge them again. Even with a short interaction, either positive or negative, they would cease to be an object, a thing inside the talking box, a stranger, and become a living breathing human. In other words, real.

I know they are real, not robots or animations, but as they are wholly unconnected with me, I feel there is no harm in judging their clothing choices. As long as I am careful about what I do with the judgement.

In conclusion, I don’t think I need “to work on that part of myself.” I think it is OK to judge others – it is how I learn about my own likes and dislikes.

But I will keep my judgments private.

 

3 thoughts on “To judge or not to judge

  1. Yes, yes, yes, such a delight to discover your blog! Judgements are entertainment and education – I like that. And you keep them private, I think that’s even more important (unless its tactful sharing between good friends). After all, isn’t judgement just us measuring up others (or ourselves) against what society and the world makes us believe is the ideal image or behaviour? I judge people all the time, and mostly the thought going through my head is – I (don’t) want to be like that because I (don’t) want people to think about me the way I’m thinking about that person.

    Like

  2. I have too many thoughts to write in a short comment, talking will happen. As always, I think our thought processes are pretty close and we are mostly in agreement, with a small divergence. I listened to something recently (Hello Internet maybe) which made the point that the people we argue with most are people we *almost* agree with. I thought of us 🙂

    Like

Comments are now closed.