It’s easy. Open the door. Step outside. Don’t look left and right, left and right, left and right, over and over before stepping onto the sidewalk. People will think… Look straight ahead. Don’t look down at your feet. Except to make sure you wont trip, or step in dog shit, or strange puddles. Which are different from not-strange puddles, how? Do the normal puddles make fun of the strange puddles? Do they determine strangeness by color or smell? One more block. Don’t frown, but don’t smile too much, either, people will think… Just keep a pleasant expression, a neutral expression, not choosing sides. Not happy, not sad, just invisible. (Oh how I long to be invisible.) Stop it, you already checked your zipper, and besides these are the jeans that you sewed the zipper permanently closed because the flap always looked a little open. People will think… Good thing they are really stretchy jeans. One more block. There is the park, the half-way mark. Don’t stare at the playing children, people will think… But smile a little more, it is normal to be happier around children, and scowls are scary. One more block. The light is red, but there are no cars nearby. That person is crossing, should I cross? What will they think if I wait for the green? What if they are colorblind? Now a car is coming. But the other light is yellow, just go, go, go. Almost home. Half a block, one more house, door, key, don’t look, no one is behind you. Open. In. Close. Breathe in. Breathe out. Home.
Published by Jill
Jill spends most of her waking hours attempting to capture the thoughts that scurry around her mind and put them to work entertaining others. You can find these thoughts most often on her blog, Mind of a Mouse, but tiptoe when you enter please, she is easily startled and probably panicking. View all posts by Jill