I Want To Know

I want to know why salt makes me feel smarter.

I want to know if there are any unbiased (not financed by someone with an agenda) studies of brain activity during video gaming, and if anyone really understands the results of those studies.

I want to know what happens in my brain when I go from utter confusion to sudden understanding.  In my imagination I see the tendrils of neurons or synapses or whatever, reaching, straining, trying to find something, and then… an electrical spark when they connect, forming a complete idea.

I want to know why I can’t concentrate in a silent room.

I want to know why I switch compound words.  (In my head belldoor sounds perfectly reasonable – it takes concentration to say it aloud as doorbell.)

I want to know why being the center of attention makes me feel good, but being in the center of a crowd makes me panic.

I want to know how the emotional and logical sides of my brain communicate with each other and why they can hold such opposing thoughts at the same time.  (I only like songs with good lyrics because I don’t care about music / I am moved to tears by a beautiful solo guitar piece / I hate reading poetry.  Ok – that was three opposing thoughts.)

If I had unlimited money – I wouldn’t buy a new car or a big house or lots of clothes, I would buy knowledge.  I would pay experts in neuroscience to figure out the way my brain learns, and to then adapt all the information in the world to that format so that I could absorb it as easily as possible.

Then I would package all of that information, in that easy-to-learn format, and give it away free on the internet so that people like me who Want to Know, but who suck at school, can learn, Everything.